Rex Brooks sent following comments on 4/2/2010:

Greetings,

Sorry I found myself overextended, so needed to curtail my participation
in the SOA-EERP TC. However, I applaud the improvements you have made in
these specifications. I am copying the SOA Reference Model TC and the
SOA Reference Architecture SC to keep them apprised of my comments. I
will start with the White Paper, then address bQoS, bSLA and Rating. I
am making my comments based on the pdf versions.

For the SOA RM TC and SOA RM RA SC I am providing the announcement url
that can be used for downloading these documents:
http://www.oasis-open.org/apps/org/workgroup/soa-eerp/email/archives/201002/msg00000.html

I have designated errors and/or suggestions with _*boldface and
underlined text.*_
*
General Comment:* If any of these specifications will start their
abbreviations with a lower case "b" as is done in bQoS, then I think
they should all start their abbreviations with a lower case "b" as in
bRating and bSLA for the sake of consistency, or else the lower case "b"
should be dropped as in QoS, Rating, SLA.

EERP-Model-UseCase-WhitePaper-cd03

Section: EERP Technology

• I would like to commend you on the explanation given in
  SubSection: Enablers for Optimization:
• Specifically, I am very pleased that "The focus of the SOA-EERP
  Technical Committee is on enablers for optimization and process
  improvement rather than on the complete EERP environment." This
  was an unspoken concern of mine early on, and it puts the entire
  complement of specifications into a sound perspective. (Note: I
  didn't intend to start with agreement and commendation. I must be
  slipping!")
• In the second paragraph of SubSection: *Enablers for Optimization:
  *the parenthetical phrase "(how to represent cost, time, and
  cost)," is clumsy. Perhaps "(how to represent cost, time, and
  intended result)," might be better. (Note: the term we use in the
  SOA-RAF for intended "result" would be intended "Real World Effect.")
• Suggestion for next to last paragraph of SubSection: *Status of
  Standards Process:* "These XML vocabulary specifications address
  the exchange of information that models the business
  characteristics of a service, permits assertions or queries
  related to the credibility of the service and its provider, and
  the establishment of agreements about the use of business service.

Section: Conceptual Framework and Message Flow

• First and second sentences in Paragraph three of SubSection:
  "Service providers offer business services. Each service
  provider may offer the same service but with different bQoS and
  Ratings." "provider(s) provide" is just a bit clumsy--stylistic
  consideration only.
• Note: It appears that an EERP Portal is required. Is this so? If
  so, please explain why in this section. This could be more than
  some smaller service providers are willing or able to afford, and
  requiring third party facilities could be problematic--though I am
  personally requiring a similar third party facility in a Network
  Centric Pattern (NCP) in the Network Centric Operations Industry
  Consortium (NCOIC) All Hazards Alert and Warning Capabilities
  (AHAW) NCP in the form of a SOA Registry-Repository for Service
  Providers and Consumers to find each other, share Service
  Descriptions and acquire the contact information necessary to
  begin negotiations for establishing Service Level Agreements (SLAs).
• /Description/ column entries for numbers 5 through 12 of the
  Tabular presentation of messages in SubSection: *Message Exchange
  Example:* are in a larger text size than the rest of the tabular
  material.
• /Description/ for number 8 in tabular presentation of messages in
  SubSection: Message Exchange Example needs correction : ...SLA
  Request message...
• /Description/ for number 11 in tabular presentation of messages in
  SubSection: Message Exchange Example: doesn't make sense to me:
  "Service Requester sends SLA Request message to the Service
  Providers to obtain the commitments from the Service Providers
  for those no SLA service in the set".
• Suggestion: in last paragraph on page 10 SubSection: Message
  Exchange Example: "We conclude this section with a sequence
  diagram."

Section: A Guided Tour through the XML Vocabulary Specifications

• Suggestion: in SubSection: The Three Specifications: in third
  paragraph: "EERP Business Rating of Services Specification is an
  XML vocabulary for information exchange on business
  credibility, reliability and reputation of the service
  providers. The credibility, reliability and reputation..."
• Suggestion: in SubSection: The Three Specifications: in
  paragraph four "...and to select an optimal end-to-end solution."
• Suggestion: in SubSection: The Three Specifications: in
  paragraph five "...EERP Business Service Level Agreement for
  (BSLA)" should reflect the resolution of the General Comment
  above. Also the words "and evaluate" are in a different font for
  no apparent reason, so should be changed to match the style of the
  rest of the paragraph.
• Suggestion: in SubSection: The Three Specifications: in
  paragraph six: BSLA occurs again, please follow resolution of
  *General Comment *above.
• Suggestion: in SubSection: *EERP Business Quality of Service
  (bQoS) Specification and Schema:* BQoS occurs several times and
  should be consistent with resolution of *General Comment *above.
• Page 15 in first paragraph of Section: *EERP Business Service
  Level Agreement Specification:* 2nd line: "... service provider
  for a give service." should be "...service provider for a
  given service."

Note: I did not attempt to validate or otherwise test the XML Schemas or
Examples for the White Paper or the Specifications. I will validate the
schemas separately and only report if I discover problems. I won't test
the examples.

SOA-EERP-bQoS-Spec-cd03.pdf

• Line 6: grammatical error: "...improve business results. It models
  the business process and the range of potential services, then
  guides..."
• Line 10: grammatical error: "...an optimal end-to-end solution."
• Line 94: Incorrect url:
  http://docs.oasis-open.org/soa-eerp/eerp-bqos/200903/eerp-bqos.xsd
  Current Correct Link:
  *http://docs.oasis-open.org/soa-eerp/bqos/v1.0/EERP-bQoS-cd03.xsd*
• Lines 137, 138: grammatical error: "... Unrecognized attributes
  MAY cause a fault or be silently ignored."
• Lines 144, 145: grammatical error: "... Unrecognized attributes
  MAY cause a fault or be silently ignored."
• Lines 148, 149: grammatical error: "... Unrecognized attributes
  MAY cause a fault or be silently ignored."
• Line 188: grammatical error: "... Unrecognized attributes MAY
  cause a fault or be silently ignored."
• Line 275: grammatical error: "... Unrecognized attributes MAY
  cause a fault or be silently ignored."
• Line 327: grammatical error: "... Unrecognized attributes MAY
  cause a fault or be silently ignored."
• Lines 337, 338: grammatical error: "... Unrecognized attributes
  MAY cause a fault or be silently ignored."
• Line 340: grammatical error: "... This is an extensibility
  mechanism to allow different (extensible) properties..."
• Lines 451, 452 and 453 are formatted in a different typeface/font
  from the style used throughout the rest of specification for that
  kind of body text and should be changed to match the overall style.
• Lines 465-467: grammatical errors: "... implementation silently
  ignores unrecognized attributes where any attribute is
  allowed, or silently ignores unrecognized elements where any
  element is allowed, it should be considered as interoperable
  implementation."
• Suggestion: Please consider adding the following addition to all
  items that read: "This is an extensibility mechanism to allow
  additional attributes, based on schemas, to be added to the abbrvX
  element in the future. _*Requesting new elements for future
  versions of the specification should be considered before
  developing possible dependencies upon attributes which may be
  deprecated in favor of such future elements.*_ Unrecognized
  attributes MAY cause a fault or be silently ignored."

SOA-EERP-Rating-Specification.pdf

• Line 3: Suggestion "... information exchange on business
  *credibility *reliability and reputation..."
• Line 8: Suggestiion "The credibility, reliability and reputation..."
• Line 85: Suggestion: "_*The XML vocabulary for Business Rating is
  defined in the XML Schema for this specification with several
  specific rating measurement indicators.*_"
• Line 89: Incorrect Link:
  http://docs.oasis-open.org/soa-eerp/eerp-rating/200903/eerp-rating.xsd
  Current Correct Link:
  *http://docs.oasis-open.org/soa-eerp/rt/v1.0/EERP-Rating-cd03.xsd*
• Lines 111-113 are formatted in a different typeface/font from the
  style used throughout the rest of the specification for that kind
  of body text and should be changed to match the overall style.
• Lines 111-113: grammatical error (111, 112) and suggestion (112):
  "Performance:QualityAssestionEvaluation that will provide a
  mechanism for Service Rating Entities to render their
  evaluation for how well the Service Provider fulfills the
  Quality Assertion(s) of its service."
• Line 131: grammatical error: "... Unrecognized attributes MAY
  cause a fault or be silently ignored."
• Line 137, 138: grammatical error: "... Unrecognized attributes MAY
  cause a fault or be silently ignored."
• Lines 145, 146: grammatical error: "... Unrecognized attributes
  MAY cause a fault or be silently ignored."
• Line 149: grammatical error: "... Unrecognized elements MAY cause
  a fault or be silently ignored."
• Line 157: remove white space in element name: An aggregated
  number, in <rt:RatingNumeric> element."
• Line 187: grammatical error: "... Unrecognized attributes MAY
  cause a fault or be silently ignored."
• Lines 202, 203: grammatical error: "... Unrecognized attributes
  MAY cause a fault or be silently ignored."
• Lines 212, 213: grammatical error: "... Unrecognized attributes
  MAY cause a fault or be silently ignored."
• Lines 218, 219: grammatical error: "... Unrecognized attributes
  MAY cause a fault or be silently ignored."
• Lines 226-228 re formatted in a different typeface/font from the
  style used throughout the rest of the specification for that kind
  of body text and should be changed to match the overall style.
• Lines 227, 228: grammatical error: "... Unrecognized attributes
  MAY cause a fault or be silently ignored."
• Lines 234-235: grammatical error: "... Unrecognized attributes MAY
  cause a fault or be silently ignored."
• Line 284: Suggestion: "_*Unlike *_the Rating element..."
• Lines 320, 321: grammatical error: "... Unrecognized attributes
  MAY cause a fault or be silently ignored."
• Lines 337, 338: grammatical error: "... Unrecognized attributes
  MAY cause a fault or be silently ignored."
• Lines 341, 342: grammatical error: "... Unrecognized attributes
  MAY cause a fault or be silently ignored."
• Lines 351, 352: grammatical error: "... Unrecognized attributes
  MAY cause a fault or be silently ignored."
• Lines 361, 362: grammatical error: "... Unrecognized attributes
  MAY cause a fault or be silently ignored."
• Lines 369, 370: grammatical error: "... Unrecognized attributes
  MAY cause a fault or be silently ignored."
• Lines 376, 377: grammatical error: "... Unrecognized attributes
  MAY cause a fault or be silently ignored."
• Lines 383, 384: grammatical error: "... Unrecognized attributes
  MAY cause a fault or be silently ignored."
• Lines 390, 391: grammatical error: "... Unrecognized attributes
  MAY cause a fault or be silently ignored."
• Lines 393, 394: grammatical error: "... Unrecognized attributes
  MAY cause a fault or be silently ignored.
• Lines 453, 454 are formatted in a different typeface/font from the
  style used throughout the rest of the specification for that kind
  of body text and should be changed to match the overall style.
• Lines 458-460 are formatted in a different typeface/font from the
  style used throughout the rest of the specification for that kind
  of body text and should be changed to match the overall style.
• Lines 579-582 are formatted in a different typeface/font from the
  style used throughout the rest of the specification for that kind
  of body text and should be changed to match the overall style.
• Line 609-611: grammatical errors, suggestion: "...implementation
  silently ignores unrecognized attributes where any attribute
  is allowed, or silently _*ignores *_unrecognized elements where
  any element is allowed, should be considered an interoperable
  implementation."
• Suggestion: Please consider adding the following addition to all
  items that read: "This is an extensibility mechanism to allow
  additional attributes, based on schemas, to be added to the abbrvX
  element in the future. _*Requesting new elements for future
  versions of the specification should be considered before
  developing possible dependencies upon attributes which may be
  deprecated in favor of such future elements.*_ Unrecognized
  attributes MAY cause a fault or be silently ignored."

SOA-EERP-BSLA-spec-cd03.pdf

• Lines 10, 11: grammatical error: "...to select an optimal
  end-to-end solution."
• Line 106: Incorrect url:
  http://docs.oasis-open.org/soa-eerp/eerp-sla/200903/eerp-sla.xsd
  Current Correct Link:*
  http://docs.oasis-open.org/soa-eerp/sla/v1.0/EERP-SLA-cd03.xsd*
• Line 110: Suggestion: "... Technical aspects such as service
  availability, accessibility, ..."
• Lines 134, 135: grammatical error: "... Unrecognized attributes
  MAY cause a fault or be silently ignored."
• Lines 149, 150: grammatical error: "... Unrecognized attributes
  MAY cause a fault or be silently ignored."
• Lines 156, 157: grammatical error: "... Unrecognized attributes
  MAY cause a fault or be silently ignored."
• Lines 160, 161: grammatical error: "... Unrecognized attributes
  MAY cause a fault or be silently ignored."
• Lines 200, 201: grammatical error: "... Unrecognized attributes
  MAY cause a fault or be silently ignored."
• Lines 216, 217: grammatical error: "... Unrecognized attributes
  MAY cause a fault or be silently ignored."
• Line 220: grammatical error: "... Unrecognized attributes MAY
  cause a fault or be silently ignored."
• Lines 262, 263: grammatical error: "... Unrecognized attributes
  MAY cause a fault or be silently ignored."
• Lines 265, 267, 269, 271, 273, 275: Suggestion: "Describes
  available operations..."
• Lines 281, 282: grammatical error: "... Unrecognized attributes
  MAY cause a fault or be silently ignored."
• Line 285: grammatical error: "... Unrecognized attributes MAY
  cause a fault or be silently ignored."
• Lines 320, 321: grammatical error: "... Unrecognized attributes
  MAY cause a fault or be silently ignored."
• Lines 328, 326: grammatical error: "... Unrecognized attributes
  MAY cause a fault or be silently ignored."
• Line 332: grammatical error: "... Unrecognized attributes MAY
  cause a fault or be silently ignored."
• Lines 352, 353: grammatical error: "... Unrecognized attributes
  MAY cause a fault or be silently ignored."
• Lines 360, 361: grammatical error: "... Unrecognized attributes
  MAY cause a fault or be silently ignored."
• Lines 387, 388: grammatical error: "... Unrecognized attributes
  MAY cause a fault or be silently ignored."
• Lines 394, 395: grammatical error: "... Unrecognized attributes
  MAY cause a fault or be silently ignored."
• Lines 401, 402: grammatical error: "... Unrecognized attributes
  MAY cause a fault or be silently ignored."
• Lines 408, 409: grammatical error: "... Unrecognized attributes
  MAY cause a fault or be silently ignored."
• Line 412 is formatted in a different typeface/font from the style
  used throughout the rest of the specification for that kind of
  body text and should be changed to match the overall style.
• Note the use of a different typeface for the name of elements
  immediately after a Numbered Section Title in the following
  example does not sufficiently emphasize the name and causes visual
  dissonance, and some text passages continue using that different
  typeface so, IF this is an artifact of the OASIS specification
  template it would be a good idea to point it out, or else use
  italic or bold for emphasis because a different typeface that is
  not significantly different just looks like an unintentional error.

5.1.1.2 CommittedTime
The Committed Time, Committed Time element of Service Level Objective
for Obligation in SLA Obligations in EERP-SLA, is the committed time
period in SLA, including Duration, Latency and Committed Completion Time.

• Lines 502, 503: grammatical error: "... Unrecognized attributes
  MAY cause a fault or be silently ignored."
• Lines 583, 584: grammatical error: "... Unrecognized attributes
  MAY cause a fault or be silently ignored."
• Lines 599, 600: grammatical error: "... Unrecognized attributes
  MAY cause a fault or be silently ignored."
• Lines 628, 629: grammatical error: "... Unrecognized attributes
  MAY cause a fault or be silently ignored."
• Lines 635, 636: grammatical error: "... Unrecognized attributes
  MAY cause a fault or be silently ignored."
• Lines 776-778 are formatted in a different typeface/font from the
  style used throughout the rest of the specification for that kind
  of body text and should be changed to match the overall style.
• Line 806-808: grammatical errors: "...implementation silently
  ignores unrecognized attributes where any attribute is
  allowed, or silently ignores unrecognized elements where any
  element is allowed, should be considered an interoperable
  implementation."

Good work. This is a substantial improvement.

Cheers,
Rex
Email: [email protected]